This weekend I was sifting through some old photographs of my family and our ancestors. I have always had an interest in family history and genealogy that was cultivated by my grandmother. With the help of her cousin, the resident genealogist in our extended family, my grandma did extensive research into our family’s heritage. Grandma Avis had one of the keenest, sharpest memories of anyone I have ever met. Even in her upper 90’s, she could recall specific things from her childhood. She could recite poems she learned at the age of five. She remembered the name of the salesman who sold her a dresser over 40 years ago. She almost never forgot a birthday or anniversary even if she hadn’t seen that person in 30 years.
As I delved in my family history, my grandma’s memories and writings gave me an extra-edge that many family researchers are not blessed with. Additionally, she saved many important and interesting documents, photos, and scrapbooks which enhanced my own research. She left her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren a legacy that will forever be treasured. I have learned so much from her, even if I have not put the principles into practice. My grandma was the kind of person that everyone gravitated towards. She was kind and had a big heart. Lately, I have been pondering the question of what kind of legacy I would be leaving behind. I have come to the realization that is never too late to change. It is never too late to change the kind of person you are and the kind of legacy you will impart on those who know you.
If I want to emulate her, I need to follow the general principles that guided her through her long life. I also need to be someone of virtue and strong character. At the same time, we all need to be our own person. How boring would it be if we all tried to be alike? I love to see differences in people. People of different backgrounds, cultures, religions, interests, education, and careers are what make the world a more rich tapestry. That being said, it is good to emulate and learn from someone who has a characteristic or strength that you are trying to build in yourself. As I look back at my life and the life of my beloved grandmother, I want to share a few of the lessons I learned from her.
1. Be thankful for what you have been given. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t squander what you have been blessed with, no matter how big or how little you think it is. Rather, you should share what you have. My grandma had a big heart and was generous in sharing of time and money. I can’t even begin to make a list of all of the charities to which she donated. I can’t begin to fathom all the time and money she had given me in her life. In a way, she has never stopped.
2. Don’t buy anything on credit. This is a tough one in this day and age. With the cost of homes and cars, it is very difficult to have enough resources to pay either one in full. My grandparents never bought anything on credit. Honestly, if they tried to take out a loan today, they would probably be denied because they never had any credit history. They always had significant resources in the bank, but yet no credit history. Their philosophy was “if you don’t have the money, you don’t buy it.” It has taken me a few years to adopt this doctrines as my own, but I think I am finally on the right track.
3. Don’t hold grudges and never go to bed angry. I never knew of even one enemy in my grandmother’s life.She may have had disagreements with certain people at certain times, but that is all they ever become. She would never let a disagreement become a grudge. As a result, she left a legacy of love, compassion, lasting friendships, and optimism.
4. Remember as much as you can about the people you come across each and everyday. My grandmother’s ability to recall details from as far back has 4 years old never ceased to amaze me. The lesson here is that people feel loved and appreciated when YOU care enough to remember the details, both important and not so important, about what is going on in their lives. It also helps you to appreciate the details for your own life and those around you more.
5. It is a good thing to cultivate relationships with people of all ages, not just who are close to your own age. My grandmother was one my best friends. The older I got, and the wiser I grew, the more I realized and appreciated the things we had in common. We can always learn life lessons from those people who are decades older than us, as well as those who are decades younger than us, even a child!
6. Never take anything that isn’t yours, not even a pin! That was something that she passed on to me when I was a very young girl. This was something that her great-grandmother always told her. This doesn’t just apply to stealing, but gave me a mindset of living an honest, honorable life of good character and virtue.
7. Learn to love and appreciate your family history. My grandmother wrote extensively about her parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and extended family. She loved to learn more about her ancestors and cultivated in me, an interest and a passion for genealogy. As I delve deeper into this hobby of mine, it is not merely to comprise a list of names, but rather to carry on her legacy and appreciation for family, past, present, and future. Part of her legacy to us includes 60 plus years of diaries. I am a bit of a procrastinator, but I want so badly, to develop this habit of keeping a daily diary.
8. Respect your elders, especially those in uniform. As I was growing up, the thought of protesting and burning the American flag, or any other flag for that matter, never even occurred to me. It surely would sadden my Grandmother to see all that is going on in our country right now. I have always had a respect for soldiers, police officers, firefighters, and other people who risk their lives each and everyday to ensure the safety of others. You should always respect those older and wiser than you!
9. Work hard! But also take time to stop and smell the roses and live a life of simplicity. That is another one that is difficult to follow in the age of technology and ever-growing and the ever-growing and evolving cyberculture.
1o. Don’t follow the crowd! My grandma was a woman before her times. She went to college, which was not the norm for a woman in the 1920’s. She taught school in a one-room schoolhouse. She used her earnings to help save her family’s farm during the Great Depression. She married later in life, (about 35 years old) which was also not typical during that time. She had 2 children later in life as well, one after the age of 40. She always taught me to do what is right, but not necessarily what is popular or what society or others dictate. She always encouraged me to be my own person, both unique and individual.
11. Have a positive attitude!!! My Grandma was the Queen Bee of Positivity! Even in the last days of her life, she felt blessed. I will always remember one of her favorite quotes., “Sunshine, Sunshine. Everyday the sunshines.” I believe that one of the things that helped her in this area, was having confidence in herself and encouraging those around her. She never spoke harshly to anyone or about anyone. Her words were uplifting, encouraging, and kind.
This is the kind of legacy that she has left behind. I have to ask myself, what do I need to do or change in my own life in order to be a constant encourager, a woman of virtue and simplicity? How can I balance simplicity with becoming a woman ahead of her time? What kind of impression am I leaving on those around me at this time in my life? Finally, what can I do now or change now to leave that kind of legacy behind? I can only pray that my life will have the same wonderful influence on those people around me, that my grandma’s life had on me.
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